Fighting a custody battle with a narcissist is a dangerous turning point in your journey as a parent. Your children should never become a weapon against your spouse.   Please read our Disclaimer. To the extent you’re able, show that the other parent isn’t fit by comparison. And while a bias against men in child custody cases has been around for decades, let’s explain why this is happening from a legal perspective. A custody battle with a narcissist more likely means that you’re fighting with a sick person than a cunning genius. Hear them out. Narcissists really know how to stir up trouble. And when it’s a spouse, they know all your secrets and all your buttons. They are vulnerable and probably even more distressed about the custody battle than you are. Once you settle on an attorney, the two of you will sit down together, identify the outcome you want, and develop a plan for building your case and presenting it to the court. In the past, he has served in the US Navy as the Medical Department Head with the primary mission of mobilization readiness of reserve personnel. It was believed that mothers would provide the most stable home life for the children. How To Win A Custody Battle Against A Narcissist, hire an experienced family law attorney immediately. A custody battle with a narcissist is an emergency because if the other parent is truly unwell, then losing custody to them could have a disastrous impact on your children’s development and wellbeing. July 5, 2017 Custody. The stakes couldn’t be higher: your children. They are frighteningly good at getting under other people’s skin when they want to. Warning signs such as criminal history, substance abuse problems, etc. One is breast-feeding. Like … Why more and more women are losing custody battles over their children. Be a cooperative co-parent. How Long Does It Take To Recover From Divorce? This might include: Hire an Experienced Attorney Who Specializes in Family Law. The Bottom Line of Winning a Custody Battle with a Narcissist. The final choice is yours, but you should consider their advice closely. The attorneys at Richardson Bloom & Lines suggest the following 10 tips: 1. Once, there was a policy of ensuring that the mother always received custody, called the “tender years” doctrine, which assumed that young children needed to be with their mothers in their early, developmental years. Because, historically, most custody battles are fought over small children. Having good lawyer representation with their knowledge of the child custody laws can … Respect the authority of the court. Stick to your plan and stay professional even when your ex-spouse is trying to drag you down into the mud. Narcissistic behavior is often no-holds-barred self-serving conduct that makes it harder for others to prevail by sticking to the rules. Instead, the court has a legal responsibility to be impartial and look at all sides equally, letting the evidence and the circumstances determine the best course of action. How can you calm your nerves and ensure the custody arrangement that you want? Let them vent their frustrations and fears to you. That’s when a person becomes a “narcissist.”. Divorce is already stressful enough. Alfredo Ramos is a writer specializing in issues important to parents and families - leveraging his experience in divorce, adoption, and other cases through work with the Ramos Law Group. I've litigated hundreds of custody cases. If you’re waging a custody battle on top of that—a custody battle with a narcissist, no less—then it can be absolutely overwhelming. They are going to want to see evidence that the other parent’s behavior is adverse to the children’s interests and development. Talk to a few different attorneys in your area before you make a choice. The court will look at your behavior very closely. A custody battle with a narcissist more likely means that you’re fighting with a sick person than a cunning genius. The financial health and physical ability of each parent to care for the children. Learn what their point of view is, and ask what their wishes are. The court isn’t going to see you the way you see yourself. For most of us this isn’t a problem and is actually a good thing. Your attorney will guide you through all of this, and, when they lay out your options, they will likely recommend an outcome that has the best chance of success in court, even if it isn’t the most perfect outcome from your point of view. It only makes sense that mothers who have a closer bond due to the time spent caring for a child be the one more likely to obtain custody during a divorce. That’s what the court is going to look at. For more information on child custody and what you need to do to secure … Stay professional, even when they don’t. Author has 819 answers and 303.5K answer views. More than likely, even a successful bid by a father would result in liberal visitation by the mother unless the circumstances make it harmful to the children. Narcissists will try to undermine you however they can. The level of hardship that would be imposed upon the children in any scenario. A child custody case could be more disheartening than expected. Who gets custody of a child in a divorce UK? A court can sniff that out. Family courts are kangaroo courts anyway. Doing so could increase the chances of a successful hearing. Look for someone who makes you comfortable, and who can explain the details and the process thoroughly, but in a language you understand. Even if it doesn’t, that’s not a healthy way to parent. And if you live somewhere remote, look in the big city to widen your options. By Sadie Nicholas for MailOnline Updated: 02:48 EST, 5 June 2008 . Any lies you present will come back and be used against you in court. Many judges and custody mediators recognize that infants should be breast-fed, and … With that in mind, don’t coach them to hate their other parent. To win a custody battle, you need to be well prepared for the hearing, during which the court will consider the following factors when coming to a decision: The better-parent standard : Parents involved in a custody issue should understand that what makes one parent "better" in the eyes of the court may not align with their point of view. If you're in the UK, the woman is most likely to win, and it seems that decisions are based solely or significantly on her gender rather than logic. And, historically, mother's are the primary caregivers for small children. Legal, financial, and personal threats against you or others you care about, Gaslighting and other forms of psychological manipulation, A willingness to spend considerable money to get what they want. You’re likely to be facing lies, personal attacks, emotional manipulation, and a two-faced adversary who will often appear perfectly reasonable to outsiders while being awful to anyone under their power. Until the final date, both the mother and the father stay at the edge of their seats because the thought of not being able to see the child every day is in itself, depressing. Lastly, this is another area where you shouldn’t go it alone: set up appointments for them with a counselor, too, where they can speak (alone, even from you) about what’s on their mind. You may also wish to pursue a temporary order as a way to limit what your ex-spouse can do while the case is pending.

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